


Without A Doubt.

by glasswrks



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glasswrks/pseuds/glasswrks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Copyright:</b> Dec. 26 – 30th 2012.<br/><b>Revised:</b> January 1, 2013.<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. I ripped off this disclaimer... so did I, but I do want to add: "Lost Girl," is on Showcase. It was created by Michelle Lovietta. It is developed and produced by Prodigy Pictures in association with CanWest.<br/><b>Author's Note/Special Thanks:</b> Go to as always, my beta, Eblane and my bestie, Becca, who is chomping at the bit for the show to start.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Without A Doubt.

**Author's Note:**

> **Copyright:** Dec. 26 – 30th 2012.  
>  **Revised:** January 1, 2013.  
>  **Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. I ripped off this disclaimer... so did I, but I do want to add: "Lost Girl," is on Showcase. It was created by Michelle Lovietta. It is developed and produced by Prodigy Pictures in association with CanWest.  
>  **Author's Note/Special Thanks:** Go to as always, my beta, Eblane and my bestie, Becca, who is chomping at the bit for the show to start.

___________________

Lauren frowned in her sleep.

Something was disturbing her but she did not want to open her eyes; she was so very tired. This was the first evening in a week where she had not spent all night in her lab.

She knew if something important had happened at the compound, they would have sent someone over to pick her up.

A phone call seemed so _human._

Yet the insistent sound of her phone pulled her from her slumber.

She bit off a curse before voicing it aloud. Even in the solitude of her bedroom, she still censored herself.

Lauren blindly searched for her cell phone with her hand.

By the time she found it, the incessant ringing had stopped.

She groaned.

She silently wished the person who had called a very unpleasant life. She knew she could have come up with something so much more vivid, but Kenzi's incident with Baba Yaga led Lauren to err on the side of caution.

She sighed heavily and turned onto her back. As soon as her eyes opened, she knew trying to fall asleep again would be difficult if not impossible.

She shook her head as she blinked.

Her room was dark for the most part; the only light came from her alarm clock.

One she really did not need.

She was awake up by five-thirty like clockwork. It was more than enough time to take a shower, have breakfast and look at her notes from the evening before.

She turned to the right and looked at the clock.

It was only two a.m.

She had been asleep for all of two hours.

Lauren had dragged herself home, dropping her bag to the floor in a heap.

She smirked.

She still had had the presence of mind to place her laptop case on the table. She had gone upstairs to the bathroom, stripped out of her clothes and stepped into the shower.

Normally, she would have preferred to have taken a bath, but it would have taken too long and all she wanted to do was go to bed slip underneath the covers and get some much needed sleep.

She _had_ managed to do exactly that.

Five hours of sleep would have been _just_ enough time to recharge her self.

Now, a probable wrong number had taken that away from her.

She grabbed one of her pillows, turned onto her side and hugged it to her. Letting out a deep breath, she decided to go through some of her meditation techniques thinking they might help.

She cleared her mind of thoughts, kept her breathing slow, deep and steady.

She growled when the phone rang.

She reached out and answered, "Hello?" she said gruffly.

Silence.

"Hello?" she said again.

Lauren was about to hang up when she heard her name, _"Lauren."_

Her brow furrowed. "Bo?" she answered tentatively. "Is that you?"

She knew Bo had gone out of town with Kenzi on a case and had not expected to hear from the brunette.

They were taking things slow.

Their relationship had been fraught with lies – or sins of omission as Lauren liked to think of them so they decided together to start anew.

No more lies.

They had gone out on two dates so far and Bo had been both attentive and respectful.

The only physical intimacy between them had been a brief kiss on their second date.

"You are too important to me to rush this Lauren," Bo had told her.

She had felt such a rush of warmth and affection for Bo at that moment. She knew they were doing the right thing.

_"Lauren..."_

She sat up, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" she asked without realizing she had used the term of affection.

_"I..."_

"Bo... what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Lauren's heart began to race. "Bo... are you hurt? Please tell me," she practically begged as she kicked off her blankets.

The exhaustion she had felt earlier was no match for the fear driven adrenaline now coursing thru her system. She had no idea how she would get to Bo, but she would.

_"I miss you."_

Lauren stopped halfway out of bed as Bo's words registered. "What?" she whispered.

 _"I miss you Lauren. I... I didn't think I would. Not this much,"_ Bo replied.

Lauren fell back onto her bed. "Bo," she sighed. "I thought you were hurt..."

_"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called... it's late."_

"No!" Lauren cried out. "Wait... Bo..." She could not tell if Bo was still on the line or not; she hoped Bo had not hung up.

 _"Yes,"_ Bo sighed.

 _'She's still there,'_ Lauren thought. "I miss you too," she answered honestly. "What's going on?"

_"Kenzi and I were following up a lead on the case we're working on and..."_

"And what happened?"

_"We had gone to a club. The place was packed and I... I saw someone who looked so much like you that I went up to her. I never gave it a second thought..."_

"And?" Lauren asked even while fearing the possible answer.

Being in a relationship with Bo hinged on whether or not she could fully accept what would happen if Bo became injured and needed to heal.

Knowing she could not help the person she loved shook her to her core. It could have been an offshoot from the time she could not help Nadia; either way, it was something she had to live with.

She could never be enough for Bo and no matter how much they both might want it, how she privately wished she could sustain Bo, Lauren knew Bo would have to do whatever was necessary, within reason, to take care of herself.

 _"She turned around and she wasn't you,"_ Bo said interrupting Lauren's thoughts. _"I felt empty."_

"Empty?" Lauren replied.

_"Inside. I was empty inside. I rushed out of the club, not caring if Kenzi followed me or not and had to call you. I had to hear your voice. I needed to."_

"Oh sweetheart," Lauren said, her heart going out to Bo.

 _"I don't like feeling like this Lauren,"_ Bo said dejectedly.

The dread and fear Lauren had felt earlier when she thought Bo had been injured returned tenfold. There was something in Bo's voice...

 _"I can't do this…"_ Bo whispered.

Lauren could barely swallow past the lump which had formed in her throat. She shook her head. "Are... are you breaking up with me?" She was amazed by the calmness – which she did not feel - in her voice.

 _"What? No!"_ Bo instantly replied.

"Then?"

_"Could you open your door?"_

"What?" She didn't understand.

_"Could you come downstairs and open the door? I really need to see you."_

"You're here?" Normally, she wasn't this slow on the uptake however Lauren was exhausted and far from firing on all cylinders.

_"Yes."_

"I'll be right there. Don't leave," Lauren said as she rushed out of the bedroom and down the stairs. "Bo... I'm almost there," she told her.

_"Hurry."_

Lauren unlocked the front door and flung it open. Her heart leapt into her throat.

"Hi," Bo said as she ended the phone call.

Lauren reached out and pulled Bo into her arms. She breathed in deeply, taking in Bo's scent. "I missed you," she heard in her ear. Lauren nuzzled Bo's neck, needing to connect with her.

"This has never happened to me before," Bo said holding Lauren tighter.

"What?"

Bo pulled away slowly and looked into Lauren eyes. She reached out and traced her eyebrows, nose, and lips before kissing her gently. She looks down momentarily, as if to collect her thoughts.

"I've never missed anyone _so_ much before," she started saying. "I don't think I've needed anyone as I do you Lauren and it _scares_ me," she said. "You have so much power over me. I don't think you realize just how much it would devastate me if you left me. I love you Lauren."

"Bo... come inside," Lauren told her knowing they could not stand in the doorway. She ruefully thought she should have invited Bo inside earlier, but her worry overrode her sensibility. Closing the door behind her, she led them to the couch. "Sit down, please."

Lauren waited until Bo was settled and sat down next to her. She draped her arm across the back of the couch, letting her fingers play with the silken strands of Bo's hair.

"I can't say I've ever loved anyone as much as I do you... anyone," Lauren started.

Lauren knew deep down what she had felt for Nadia was not the same.

She _loved_ Nadia, she could not say otherwise; to do so would have been a lie and would have under minded everything they had shared.

Nadia had played a very important part in her life.

Lauren knew without Nadia, she would have never met Bo.

And everyday, she silently thanked Nadia.

Lauren thanked her for being in her life.

Lauren thanked Nadia for showing her what love could feel like.

Lauren thanked Nadia for understanding how much being a doctor meant to her. For her putting her career on hold while Lauren finished medical school.

Lauren owed Nadia so much she knew she would never be able to repay her.

"But Nadia…" Bo said.

Lauren closed her eyes and bit back the tears she still shed for her former girlfriend.

"Not even Nadia," she replied. "Bo," Lauren opened her eyes and gazed into Bo's. "You," she took a deep breath. "You are... I'm not sure I can put into words how much you mean to me. I have never been the type of person who believed in fairy tales, in make believe. Everything was black and white with no shades of gray. Everything had a place, nothing was left to chance. It was a very dreary if not downright predictable existence. Then," she paused looking down for a moment.

"Then..." Bo gently prompted.

"I found out about the Fae and everything _I_ believed in was turned upside down; my life was turned upside down. The woman I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with ended up in a coma. I pledged my life in servitude to the Light.

Everyday I was presented with species after species of Fae," Lauren shrugged. "Who most of the world did not know existed and it had to stay that way. For five years my life became a routine: wake up, shower, eat breakfast, go to the lab, treat patients, check on Nadia, and adhere to the Ash's demands. I never thought it would change... never.

Then, one simple meeting changed my life yet again.

I was told to perform an examination.

Nothing new.

I had done hundreds by now.

I walked inside the Ash's chambers and saw a woman sitting on a chair; she was strikingly beautiful and for a moment I forgot everything else.

Emotions which had been dormant for years began to break free from the self-imposed restraints and the longer I was in her presence the more I _wanted_ to be in her presence.

Every moment with her...

With _you_ Bo was like a new lease on life.

I wanted to help you.

I wanted to make you see that in my eyes you are not the monster you believe yourself to be.

You are a caring individual.

You are loving, kind, compassionate, considerate, bossy, selfish, reckless, loyal and awe inspiring.

You are _no_ monster.

You are the woman I fell in love with.

I know I shouldn't have.

I knew it wasn't allowed.

I knew I could have been punished...

Perhaps even killed.

I _knew_ this."

Bo gasped as she listened to Lauren.

"And yet I couldn't help myself," Lauren said. She was amazed she had spoken for so long and knew there was still more to be said. "I love you Bo. I miss you when we're apart. I need you in my life. I can't," Lauren shook her head. "I can't go back to the cold existence. I just can't. You bring so much light into my life. I'm not sure what I would do without you."

Lauren did not resist when Bo pulled her into her arms again. "You have no idea how much I want to say ditto... for most of it," Bo chuckled lightly.

Lauren laughed.

Bo kissed Lauren's cheek. "I don't want to go, but I told Kenzi I'd be back..."

Lauren nodded. "Of course, you still have your case. When do you have to leave?" she asked.

"I have some time left."

Lauren yawned, "I'm sorry..." The adrenaline rush she had felt earlier had depleted and was replaced with a tangible weariness.

"Don't be," Bo whispered. "Why don't we lie down? Just for a little while," she suggested. She shifted around and stretched out as she pressed Lauren's body against hers. "Close your eyes Lauren," Bo said as she gathered Lauren closer.

Lauren sighed contentedly. "You feel so good," she murmured as she struggled to stay awake.

"So do you," Bo replied softly.

"Bo..."

"Hmm."

"Kiss me." Lauren smiled as she felt Bo's lips on hers. It was a soft kiss meant to reassure.

"You never have to ask me twice," she heard Bo say.

"I love you... I'm so glad you're here..."

Bo kissed the crown of her head. "So am I. I love you Lauren... rest now."

Lauren gave up her fight to stay awake.

It would have been impossible.

She knew Bo would be gone when she woke again.

But Lauren also knew Bo would be back.

And Lauren would be waiting for her.

She knew this without a doubt.

The End.


End file.
